He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
