Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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