i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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