just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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