What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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