Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
