OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
