did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
