What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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