I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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