I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
