waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
