1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I bet he comes in French.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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