Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
