oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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