i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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