I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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