GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
