So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
