I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need water and some morals
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
