I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
