Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
