Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
