operation have a gay friend backfired
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
