Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
