Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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