Do vagina's smell?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
