Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
