I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
