is your mom at the bar?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to have your abortion
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
