:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
