Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You are a genius and a whore.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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