do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
