walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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