problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
