Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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