just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
