If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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