How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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