I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
