Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
