What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
