Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am available for nakedness
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
