I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
