Too much gin, very little bucket
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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