it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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