Whod you bang
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
