its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
