I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
