i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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