i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
